Not My Burden
by Lunamaru
Summary: After Cell Saga: Gohan is left alone with a 2 week old baby when Chichi dies during childbirth. With a heavy heart and depression always in the present, Gohan has to grow up along with raising a baby Goten. Better summary inside. Future yaoi, etc.
1. When Death Do Us Part

This is more of a prologue to my actual Yaoi story.

May 11-Gohan's bday.

Disclaimer: DBZ=not mine, ever. Unless I become Disney!

Summary: After Cell Games- With the death of Goku, ChiChi delivers Goku's second son, but quickly flows into the afterlife, pleading to not bring her back. She begs of Gohan to be strong and not hate her for her weakness as she dies and leaves everything on him. Burdened with raising his 1 week old brother, Gohan tries to balance a job, fighting, and raising a kid all in his week, but depression is always around the corner for him. "Why did you leave us, dad? I will fulfill my mother's wishes, but I wish you would help me!" A story on Gohan growing up and his burdens along with a baby Goten.

Warnings: Future Yaoi/Incest/Shouta. Extreme angst.

Not My Burden

Chapter 1

When Death Do Us Part

A small form with black hair and just as black eyes slumped forward as he dropped on to the ground from his flight, head drooping more as the light inside flickered because of the woman pacing the kitchen.

"It's all my fault," The boy, it could be determined, said, his voice full of sorrow as he tried to straighten enough so he could plaster a smile on his face again. Of course, it wouldn't matter once the boy told his mother what had happened today. So, Gohan took a deep breath and pushed open the door to his home, quietly stepping through the door.

"Hey, mom...we need to talk..." But before he could look straight at his mom, he was enveloped in a tight hug, tears hitting his shoulder.

"I-I'm so proud of you, my son..." ChiChi announced with a wet smile before she pulled the boy and set him on the couch before she sat next to him. "Now, tell me everything, honey..." Though it had irritated him to be called little pet names by his parents at his age, the 11 year old didn't mind it from his mom at this moment especially.

"We defeated Cell... I-I defeated Cell with D-daddy's help..." Gohan tried not to cry, and when his mom gently nudged him as she placed an arm around his shoulder, he managed to stop the dam to his emotions from exploding to continue: "I made a f-fatal mistake and it cost d-daddy his life... He can't be returned either... We've already tried, but Shenron says we can't bring him back and... Daddy says he doesn't want to come back, not yet..." Both were crying now as ChiChi held her son tightly, shaking from her sobs.

"Oh, Goku!" she choked out before pulling her boy into her lap and nestling him as close as she could. "He leaves at the most inopportune times! I-I didn't tell anyone because I wanted it to be a surprise, but I'm pregnant..."

Gohan's head snapped up and mother and son stared at each other for a minute before the boy smiled, a happiness just barely reaching his eyes. "I-I get a little brother or-or sister?" he asked quietly, a hand involuntarily going to her stomach.

"Yes, my little rice boy, a little... brother perhaps... But, we need to get things straight..." At this her expression neutralized as she focused all of her attention on Gohan. "I can't support us anymore... I've always wanted you to have the opportunities to do more with your life, but with a little one on the way, I need help... I need you to get a job and be home-schooled again, Gohan..." At first Gohan just stared, shocked, at his mother before the situation finally settled over his shoulders. His mother needed his help at home now...

"I understand, mom..." he replied sincerely which made her sob and take him in her arms again.

"Oh, you're such a gentle soul...why did you have to be half Saiyan....?" she asked half-halfheartedly before ruffling his hair affectionately. "Are you hungry? I have some food if you are..."

The 11 year old savior just shook his head and gently pulled out of his mother's lap. "I'm just tired, mom... I'll go look for a job tomorrow in one of the towns closest here..." ChiChi beamed at her son and his helpful ways. "Don't hesitate to wake me if you need anything, mom! You're pregnant, I should be doing everything for you!" Gohan scolded playfully before he got smacked in the butt, causing him to yelp slightly.

"Gohan..." she said with laughter lightening her tone, "Off to bed with you!" she batted at him and they laughed together as she chased him up the stairs...

...everything would be fine if they could be happy as a family, together....

--6 months later--

Gohan flew from his job as a house cleaner and looked at his calendar where all his dates were set up before frowning. Tomorrow morning he had to babysit, his other official job now, some kids around 3-5 years old and then after go to a house in the city to clean. Gohan sighed helplessly before quickly shrugging it off: it was easy work for him, since he could clean large houses in small amounts of time due to his speed and children who misbehaved around him got to watch him pulverize a tree. After that, the kids usually were in awe of him and shut up the whole rest of the time, but poor trees...

The last six months had been hard on ChiChi and Gohan, but with the others' support the tiny family was soon back up and running again. They didn't speak of Goku often, neither of the Cell Games, but did remark on lighter subjects, like how Gohan's training was going.

But still, in the depths of his mind, Gohan felt the burden of his family fall upon his too-small shoulders. He wasn't ready yet, emotionally at least. He could take any physical pain easily, but his guilt and inner pain had him reeling. Shaking off his morbid thoughts, Gohan smiled ruefully. At least he had his mom and his soon-to-be sibling.

Finally reaching his home, Gohan noticed that Bulma's hovercar wasn't where it usually was parked and he paused before descending, starting to panic as no ki signatures registered with his mind. Now truly worried, Gohan ran into his house, yelling "Mom! Bulma!!" before a note caught his attention. It was quickly scrawled and crude, making it have an urgent tone.

_-Gohan,_

_ChiChi started to get contractions and went in to pre-labor, so I took her to East City General Hospital... I will take care of her for you, Gohan... But come quickly!_

_ -Bulma_

Gohan's eyes were wide (his brother was coming earlier than he was supposed to!) but he went into action immediately, grabbing some of the baby stuff his mother already had ready and a set of clothes for his mother. He placed all of the things in a big baby bag before he left his home and traveled to East City at lightening speed, just hoping he would make it in time to see his brother born... Even if the thought of pregnancies creeped him out.

Landing on the side of the hospital building, Gohan quickly ran around the corner and went through the doors, immediately running to the front desk and asking where Son ChiChi was placed.

It took only a moment before he was outside the door, his eyes shining brightly with happiness before he looked in. His mother was red-faced, Bulma next to her with her best smile on her lips as support. The doctor was going over a breathing exercise with her to ease the pregnancy along, his nurses getting a table ready behind them. Then she let an ear-piercing scream, her hand practically ripping off Bulma's arm.

Gohan burst through the door, yelling "MOM!" as he made his way through the room. The doctor and nurses tried to restrain him, but he just brushed the man off him, nearly crushing him into the wall along with the nurses.

"G-gohan!" ChiChi said with a strain in her voice, tears suddenly springing to her eyes. Her hands waved to him wildly as her firstborn came to her side. Crushing him in a hug, the two rocked back and forth as the nurses and doctors resumed their positions.

"Ok, it looks like its time..." the doctor said, gesturing to the nurses as Gohan let go of his mother and offered her his hand. It was time.

Though Gohan had to shut his eyes as his mother's hand promptly tried to break all of his fingers, he could still hear his baby brother's wails as he was born. A grin overcame his pained expression before his mother pulled him down to her.

"Oh, Gohan... look at our little newcomer... He's so beautiful... Goten... yes, that was the name I thought of... But please, Gohan. Take care of him for me..." At that, the teenager turned toward his mother with wide eyes. ChiChi's eyes were full of tears as she looked up at her beautiful child before she continued.

"I'm not long for this world... And I want it that way..." She held up a hand as the doctors and nurses began to clean off the still screaming newborn, causing Gohan to stop any protests that might have come from his lips, "I have lived too long with wars going on around me, and I have lost the will to continue. Please, be strong and take-take care of Goten for me... I will always love you, Gohan, no matter who you love or what you do," here, she stared straight into his eyes, trying to make sure he had listened to her words carefully, "...and please tell Goten I love him, too..." her dark, obsidian eyes flickered with life before they closed.

"Mom...? MOM?! MOOOOOOOOMMMMM!?!?" Gohan's yell echoed through the room, catching the doctor's attention. Quickly noting that her heart was failing, the doctor got down to business and pushed Gohan aside while one of the nurses gently handed him Goten, who immediately quieted in his arms. Bulma, who had gone out of the room when Gohan arrived, watched as Gohan carried the baby out of the room as the beeps of warning from the machines went louder before he shut the door softly.

"Is ChiChi ok?" Bulma asked quietly, worry written on her face... She had even left little Trunks with his daddy today, but she still doubted the man could even feed the boy let alone watch him, but her parents were there too, so she didn't worry too much.

"Mom-mom is dying..." Gohan said quietly, his head bowed as he stared down at his little brother. Bulma lunged to her feet, quickly enveloping the 11 year old in her arms as he let out the emotions he had been holding in. Tears, snot and saliva mixed on his chin as he cried out his grief and anger; where was his father when he needed him?

Goten, in his brother's arms, kept quiet, an unhappy frown on his face and his small fists clenched while his tail wagged slightly agitatedly behind him.

* * *

May 11-Around 4 months later

Goten clapped for his brother, a giant grin on his face as Gohan smiled back at him. Bulma, Krillin, Piccolo, a pissed Vegeta, Master Roshi, Tien, Yamcha, 18, and a 1 year old Trunks were at the Son house for Gohan's birthday. Although Gohan told them he didn't really mind just a day with them, Bulma and Krillin had refused to let him get away with that. They noticed that he had so much responsibility on his shoulders now and wanted him to take a break.

For the last four months, Gohan had thrown himself in his responsibilities, trying not to dwell on the pain and grief still simmering inside of him. He did it for his brother, because he was his only reason left to live. His only one...

But today caused many memories to be replayed in his mind that Gohan would rather not even see again. They hurt him so much already that the teen didn't think he could take much more of this cheer and happiness before he broke down. Of course, Piccolo noticed immediately, his master was connected to him after all... But the Namek stayed silent and only sent the second to last of the Sons a look of knowing before disregarding it.

Bulma, on the other hand, noticed how well Gohan was taking care of his young brother and got an idea. She wanted to help out, and by going along with her plan, Gohan could also spend time with his little brother.

"Time to blow out the candles, Gohan! Mr. Big 12!" Krillin chuckled at the pout he got before the 12 year old smiled and picked up his little, flailing brother.

"Let's make a wish together, mmm, Goten?" Gohan whispered gently to the little baby who giggled. As they blew the candles out after a round of "Happy Birthday", Gohan reverently wished that his father could be here to help him.

As everyone gathered to leave, Bulma waited a minute, knowing Vegeta already had left without her. When it was only Piccolo, Gohan and a sleeping Goten in his big brother's arms, Bulma went over to the birthday boy and hugged him fiercely before stepping back.

"Happy Birthday, big boy... I'm so happy you let us have a birthday party for you... But, I have a proposition for ya, Gohan..." the teen smiled lightly at her enthusiasm before nodding, "I want you to baby-sit Trunks along with Goten for me... I will pay you for it handsomely, because I NEVER get to go shopping without this bundle of joy-" she looked down at her sleeping boy nestled in her arms "-making a mess of things..." she sighed as Gohan chuckled lightly at her.

"That would be great, Bulma! And Goten can have a playmate then..." he smiled widely as the cyan-haired woman grinned back.

"Well, I better go! I'll talk to you tomorrow about a schedule and you can give up being a housecleaner. I'll pay ya double that, k?" Gohan nodded numbly before she walked out of his house, leaving him with Piccolo.

"I see you're starting to get things straight now, Gohan..." the Namek said, purposely leaning against the wall near the hallway. Gohan rocked his brother slightly in his arms as the other fidgeted in his sleep before replying to his mentor.

"I know you can tell, Mr. Piccolo... What do you want, hmmm?" The green man just shrugged, standing from the wall and making his way to the door. Pausing he looked back at Gohan, whose eyes were large, unshed tears in his eyes.

"I'll be training in the woods near here, if you need to talk... Take care, Gohan..." was all he said before he disappeared into the night. Gohan sighed as he walked up the steps to his own room, where little Goten's crib was placed right under his window while his own bed's headboard was right next to the crib. His desk was right next to the door and book shelf was placed near it.

The moon peered through the window as Gohan gently set his brother in the crib before tucking the boy in with a special-made dragonball blanket their mother had made. The boy grabbed his hand before the older brother could pull away, a soft, "Goh"coming from his lips. Gohan had to smile through his tears as his little brother cuddled his arm.

"Goten... brother's gotta let go for now... If you let go, you can sleep with me tonight..." At that, the little boy opened his eyes wide and smiled, nodding rapidly.

"Good boy," the teen said lightly, patting his head before he flew through his open window. Gently closing the window after him, Gohan floated above the roof, his mind going back to one year ago.

_"Daddy!" a slightly younger Gohan yelled out as his blonde father walked in, a large grin on his face and a present behind his back._

_ "Happy Birthday, Gohan!" Before Goku could present the boy with his gift, his son had leapt in his arms, making him drop the box to the ground. _

_ "Thanks, Daddy!" The boy said happily, cuddling into his father's frame, a large smile on his face._

_ The grin on Goku's face softened into a smile as he snuggled his son, love radiating from his eyes. "You're welcome, son... I love you..."_

Tears were cascading down his cheeks before he realized it, and all Gohan could do was sob out his sorrows as his hands clenched by his sides. "Why aren't you here, d-daddy?" he choked out between sobs, his eyes suddenly going turquoise.

"WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?!" He yelled out in rage, suddenly ascending to Super Saiyan 2. All his pain-his rage-his heartache- burned within his chest as he shot into the sky to take out his emotions on the clouds. Now to deal with them-one by one.

Pain- resulting from guilt over his father's death and his own pain from having to deal with so much in his life at such a young age... Stress... But mainly it was grief mixed with guilt over his parents' deaths. His ki relaxed as he let go of the pain.

Rage- his rage at his father for not coming back, even if the older Saiyan had convinced himself that it "was for the best". His anger at his mom for making him study when he could have trained to defeat Cell! And for ChiChi giving in... Gohan screamed his anger out into the sky, pure blue ki emitting from his mouth.

Heartache-Well... Gohan almost sweat dropped, because he knew his heart ached but didn't know why. While his other emotions were easier to read, this one had depth...

"Why does my heartache...especially when I think of my...daddy...??" Gohan clutched at his heart as its beat thudded painfully.

-Gohan...?- came a familiar voice as Gohan sat cross-legged, floating in the air.

"D-dad...?" he asked carefully, the pain in his heart intensifying as he choked.

-G-gohan, I'm sorry...- came the slightly timid response before Gohan's eyes filled again with tears.

"D-don't say any-anything, father... I can barely make it through the day anymore!" His fist clenched as the teen stared down at the little dot that was his home.

"I-I'm only here for Goten or else I'd be gone by now," All the demi-saiyan heard was a short gasp before he continued on, "I'm tired... I've had too much on my shoulders and no one to help me ease the pain... This is not my burden to bear...Father... why can't you be here...?" he asked quietly, not really wanting a response.

"Oh, Gohan..." the teen was surprised to hear the man choke on his words before his mind went silent. He sighed letting his emotions go, his anger disappearing along with his pain... but his heart still _ached_... His blonde hair and turquoise eyes faded back to black.

"I'm-I'm stronger than this..." the boy whispered to himself as tears hit his fists still. Then suddenly an arm was around his shoulders, and he was shivering in the warmth of his father's embrace.

"G-gohan, I never meant-" the dead Saiyan stopped himself shaking his head, "I just can't do it, leaving you here by yourself to carry such a burden... I'm going to teach you Instant Transmission so you can visit me...and your mother..." Gohan shook his head, in both disbelief and negative.

"Dad, how can you get away with teaching me when you're dead...? Especially when-" Gohan's heart tried to kill him at that moment because suddenly his ki faltered and he wasn't floating anymore. Before he could descend more than a foot, Goku had grabbed him, holding his son up.

"Gohan, just trust me, ok, son?"

"No... I have an obligation to Goten... Even if I'm forever in pain and turmoil, Goten will always be my first priority, not you or mom or myself!" At that, the two looked at each other in an intense stare before the older male gave in and turned his eyes away.

"I-I've missed you, Gohan..." he whispered quietly, hugging the tired boy close. But he didn't get a reply as the boy had bit his lip, forcing himself to not say anything in return.

Goku, kind of curious about the silence, pulled Gohan away from him to scrutinize what he thought was going to be a pout. Gasping as he watched blood flow down his son's lip, the full-blooded Saiyan squawked and went into parental mode.

"Gohan! What do you think you're doing! Stop biting on your lip, you could...errr, drown if you do that or something!" Though Goku was being entirely serious, Gohan couldn't help but laugh a little bit helplessly. This was his dad... here with him now and his heart was telling him to forgive him... Before he could say anything, his lower lip was tentatively being licked clean and Gohan couldn't help but almost lose control of his ki again.

"Ewwww, still tastes gross!" was all Goku said in response to his own actions before he swiped his tongue one last time over Gohan's and nodded to himself. "There, now you can't drown yourself..." And Gohan smiled, because though his dad left him alone to fend both for the earth's protection and raising his baby brother, he was still "Goku" as many people have said and no matter how long it would take, Gohan would see him again.

"Dad...daddy... I missed you too..." the first smile on Goku's face lit up his son's world, and Gohan's heart finally unclenched its hold and relaxed: finally its master had found what he needed.... But could he keep it, or even make his love last...?

* * *

Liked it? Hated it? Want to read more? Review please! This is my first posted DBZ story with plot. XD yeaaah.


	2. When We Try To Forget

Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favorites! I appreciate it :D It got this one out faster! :P

Warnings: SoloM. Yaoi. Shouta. Incest. Wet Dreams. Explicit stuff, not for under 17, please!

Ages: Gohan=14, Goten=2, Trunks=3

**_Not My Burden_**

**_Chapter 2_**

**_When We Try to Forget_**

Goten jumped out of the bath water with a giggling "ROAR!", trying to scare his brother who was a few feet away from him. The 14 year old fell backward, landing on the tile floor with a groan.

"Haha, Go-ten got you!" the baby said happily, splashing his brother before the older boy could get up. Spluttering as he tried to sit up and not drown in soapy water, Gohan grinned at Goten with an evil look in his eyes. The boy pouted slightly before shrieking as his brother dived into the bath with him, his fingers tickling his sides.

"Hehehehe, Goh-on!" Goten giggled, trying not to slip into the bubbly water. It had been around two years since Goku and Gohan had resolved their emotions and the 14 year old couldn't have been happier. His baby brother was such a fun boy, and he could easily read Gohan, which always had Goten pouting at him. "Don't be sawd, brofther!" was the first thing he had said about the look in Gohan's eyes before the older male could lie to him. And Gohan had finally mastered instant transmission, but he still hadn't gotten up the nerve to visit his dead parents. Goku had managed to convince King Yenma that Gohan needed to learn it, and was given three hours to teach it to him. With the initial start by his father, Gohan just had to refine it, and he finally did. He had even brought Goten and Trunks to Namek!

"Gohan! Goten! Where are you guys?!" Trunk's voice called from below as Bulma's high heels clicked against the wood floors.

"Ah, sorry, Goten was taking a bath!" Gohan said over his shoulder as he began stripping of his drenched clothes and was left standing in his boxers. Wrapping a towel around his waist, the older brother quickly unplugged the bathtub and picked up his smiling brother, wrapping him in a large green towel. "Can you get dressed yourself, or do you need my help...?" Gohan asked as the boy in his arms pouted slightly before answering.

"I dress myself..." he said determinedly, earning him a pat on the head and a grin. He watched Gohan quickly zip out of the bathroom and into "their" room to change.

A few minutes later, Gohan was coming back to the bathroom to check up on his brother when he heard a scoff.

"Come on, Gotenss..." Trunks said with a baby slur. "You're better than that!"

"Shuddup..." was the reply before Gohan opened the door and eyed the two. Goten's clothes were on backwards, the older male realized, and it seemed Trunks was having fun pointing out the fact that Goten was on backwards.

"Guys..." Gohan sighed as both boys began to laugh at him. Bulma smiled as she quietly tip-toed out the house, knowing she had made the right decision in leaving Trunks with the capable Gohan. Well, now she had the whole weekend to shop and maybe convince Vegeta to spend time with the three boys!

It was time for dinner and Gohan was preparing it when he heard a loud crash and cries of pain come from upstairs. Quickly dropping the spoon he had been using, the teen flew quickly up the stairs and into his parents' room, a feeling of dread overcoming him.

What he saw made him freeze: Goten's hands covered in blood as Trunks tried to sit up, ChiChi's favorite glass vase broken on the floor next to them. Quickly shaking off the shock, Gohan picked both boys off of the floor, and floated above the ground, taking them into the bathroom.

"Brofther, we're sowwy!" Goten cried out, big tears dripping from his eyes as Trunks slumped to the ground, hands clutching his side.

"It's ok, let's just make the hurt go away, ok? Trunks, where did you get hurt...?" the purple haired demi shook his head slightly, tears welling up in his eyes as well.

"My-my side... I fell on top of it to save Goten..." Gohan's eyes widened as he looked over at his relatively un-hurt brother and back to his little savior.

"Oh, Trunks..." Gohan kissed his forehead lightly, making the boy look up. "Thank you for saving my baby brother..." Then Gohan pressed his hand to the wound in Trunks' side and gently pried the boy's hand away. Focusing on his ki slightly to numb the pain Trunks was most likely feeling, Gohan deftly removed the large piece of glass, using his ki as a tourniquet as he reached for some senzu beans that he kept somewhere in the bathroom. Goten was suddenly in front of him, placing the bean in Trunks' mouth with a slight quiver.

Gasping, Trunks suddenly stared at them both before grinning. "I feel good as new!" he said happily, turning to look at the wound that no longer was there. Smiling, both boys hugged Gohan close, making him laugh lightly.

"Ok, come on now. Time for ANOTHER bath," At this, Trunks and Goten grinned and began to strip of their clothes, making Gohan groan. The water had already filled the tub by the time Gohan had returned with their pajamas after having gone to the kitchen to finish dinner. Both boys were splashing merrily as the oldest of them walked back out of the bathroom.

"What a day," Gohan sighed as he made his way to his parents' bedroom, eyes losing their happiness as he looked around the room. Too many memories that still stung with a passion were trying to cut open Gohan's heart as he stared around at the slightly dusty room.

Trying to put any thoughts behind him, Gohan swept up the pieces of the broken vase but not before finding a picture in amongst all the broken glass. It was a picture of him and his father sleeping together in a tight embrace about 5 years ago. They were in this bedroom, and while Gohan had a soft smile on his face, Goku's face was perfectly peaceful, his lips pressed against Gohan's forehead. Obviously, ChiChi was the one to have taken the picture, and the words on the back confirmed it:

_-Goku loves Gohan more than me! But I don't mind... Gohan needs the love...And it would be just like Goku to fall in love with his own son! But that would be okay, because I love them both...-_

The teen stared at the words, trying to make sense of them before he just placed the picture in his gi, next to his heart. Cleaning up the rest of the vase, Gohan took one last look at the bedroom before making his way downstairs, where he heard Trunks and Goten's laughter.

"Ok, I'm getting your dinner!" the teen called out as he sprinted the rest of the way, smiling slightly. These two kids kept him on his feet, he guessed as he began to fill plate upon plate of food for the boys, who were giggling behind him.

"Now, let's eat!" Gohan announced, digging in as Goten grabbed his own food with his hands and watching as Trunks politely tucked in before the teen laughed at him. "No need to be polite, Trunks! We're all Saiyans here..." At that, the purple-haired boy started to scarf down food, Gohan grinning widely. Yes, having them around certainly helped ease the pain in his heart.

Later that night, after having tucked in both boys in his own bed, Gohan made his way downstairs to clean up the kitchen. Sweat dripping from his face as he cleaned dish after dish, scrubbed his hands raw and fixed up the kitchen as his mom would have, Gohan let out a large sigh, scratching his head as he went to take a shower. Grabbing his own pajamas from his room, the teenager made a detour from the shower and went into his parents' room again. He was probably going to have to sleep in here tonight... The tiny single bed just wasn't big enough for the three of them. He threw the covers off and replaced them with clean ones and redid the bed.

Placing his pajamas on the bed, Gohan went to the closet in the corner and opened it for the first time in months. If he was going to face his parents someday, he might as well go through their stuff to at least go through some of the emotions he might experience. A box of video tapes in the corner caught his attention, one specifically marked "Goku and Gohan" had the teen pulling it out and pushing it in the VCR that was connected to the small TV in their room.

As it started to play, Gohan sat on the edge of the bed, hugging himself. The video was of him and his father when the boy was only one or two. They were playing in the trees or chasing butterflies or swimming in the ocean. But suddenly, the tape went blank for a moment, confusing the teen. Maybe it was done...?

The picture came back on, Goku sleeping on this very same bed in a twist of blankets, sweat dripping from his forehead. It looked like the camera had just randomly been placed to the side somewhere and gone on, because it didn't follow the man as he rolled from side to side.

_"Ugh...Gohan..."_ panted Goku, eyes squinted shut as suddenly his hand darted into his gi pants. Gohan suddenly gulped, getting a pretty good picture of what was going to happen. Gohan was going to stop it-his hand had reached up for the remote- when Goku's eyes popped open and he sat up, sweat dripping down his neck now.

_"Oh kami, why does this keep happening? He's my son! I shouldn't want to-"_ the Saiyan stopped himself, groaning as the camera caught sight of the large cock that had hardened. Gohan was salivating, he realized as he tried to keep himself from reacting to his dad's homemade porn...! His heart was pounding loudly in his chest as his father began to tentatively stroke his cock, his growls of lust making Gohan harden himself.

"Oh kami!" Gohan squeaked out, looking to the door that was thankfully closed shut. He hadn't ejaculated for awhile, he realized, but being as busy as he was, Gohan knew his experience was going to be a quick one.

_"Goh-an!"_ Goku murmurred, speeding up as he arched backwards, his thick cock leaking precome. The present Gohan pushed one hand into his pants and began to jerk off quickly, keeping his noise to a minimum. Matching his strokes with his video-father's own jerk and thrusts, Gohan couldn't help but moan out, "Daddy" as he came in his pants just as Goku roared out his own climax.

_"Good thing they aren't home..."_ Goku mumbled sleepily as he got up, the camera cutting off the picture and sound.

Gohan groaned in misfortune, getting up slowly and grabbing his pajamas on his way to the bathroom. Good thing he was curious before his shower...

Goten and Trunks stared at each other from their hiding spot in the hallway closet. "What was my brofther doing...?" Goten asked his friend who pouted and shrugged.

"Not our problem... we'll figure it out laterrr... after we sleep," With that Trunks pulled a sleepy Goten into the bigger bedroom and turned off the TV before getting in bed with Goten.

Gohan was drying off his hair when he saw the two boys in the bed and almost fell over. When did they get in here...? And why for that matter? Well...

The teenager sighed as he gently nudged his brother over and dipped into the bed behind his little sibling. Today had been a crazy day, but tomorrow was another day with the two... What could possibly happen?!

----X

Whoo, another one up! Hope you liked, kind of had to add some juicy parts for those who can't wait for the main pairing to get together! XD

Review please, I love reviews! They make me type faster! :D


	3. When You Finally See It

**_Not My Burden_**

**_Chapter 3_**

**_When You Finally See It_**

Laughter filled the silence before it was quickly muffled by small hands and two boys peered over their hands to stare at their object of fascination. Gohan was spread-eagle across the large bed, drool dripping from his mouth as it made its way down his chin.

"Go-han looks funny!" Goten giggled, his arm around Trunks' waist as he tried to stand straight on his wobbly legs. The lavender haired boy chuckled after him before he climbed up the bed and pulled the younger one up after him. Then they both started to crawl sneakily over Gohan's sleeping form before they looked at each other.

"Ready...?"

"Ready!"

And then the two children were tickling the boy, making Gohan squawk awake. The teenager couldn't stop laughing though as he struggled to get out from underneath the two ambushing boys.

"AHAHAHA-oh my KAMI! HAHAHAHA-St-stop!" Gohan gasped out, trying unsuccessfully to roll them off of him. Goten and Trunks both fell on the teenager with loud gasps of laughter before they all breathed heavily on the bed from the exertion.

"Ahhh...kami, guys...Ah, well, let's get some food in ya, mmm?" Gohan was suddenly attacked by two children who latched onto his arms in adoration.

"You'll make us good food, hrmm, yus, brofther?!" Goten ranted happily as Trunks just rubbed his head over Gohan's left arm.

"Yes, brother will make a delicious breakfast for both of you, now get off!" The oldest boy rocked back and forth, flinging the children's arms from his own. Finally able to get up, Gohan rushed out of the room, hoping that the two kids wouldn't maul him anymore.

Noticing that Goten and Trunks had gone off and played in his room, Gohan quickly got down to business and pulled out food from the frig. He was quickly finding solitude in cooking, maybe this is why his mother put up with their Saiyan appetites, she found cooking to be calming?

It was about a half an hour more until Goten and Trunks plowed down in the kitchen, complaining before they saw the feast on the table. Gohan turned around, a blue, slightly frilly apron on, a sheepish look on his face.

"Aw, sorry guys! Was just finishing up this crepe, but you guys can start eating!" The two boys quickly dug in, manners forgotten. Gohan smiled happily as he finished the last crepe and put them on the table. They were instantly being eaten before the teenager could even blink and he grinned widely. He was glad his little brother had a friend like Trunks around.

"Brats!" came a voice none of them expected as they were finishing up their food. Goten nearly wet himself while Trunks jumped to his feet and bowed lowly. And Gohan choked on his omelet, coughing loudly.

"Hi, dad!" Trunks yelled, making the two Sons cringe slightly.

"Trunks..." Vegeta acknowledged, eyes darting to the other two youngins before glaring at the oldest Son.

"Bulma wanted me to come spend time with you three, so we're going to teach you two-" he pointed to the youngest of the them "-the basics of fighting and defense..." Gohan sweat dropped at the fierce look on the Prince of Saiyan's face, both children gulping slightly.

"B-but dad! We trained in the GR just the other day!" Trunks whined, a pout coming to his lips as Gohan began to clear off the table, Goten going to stand next to his best friend.

"Nope, that was to just have you get used to the gravity, you haven't learned anything yet, and if you two want to be like your fathers... or as strong as I am, seeing as Kakarot is probably weaker than me now..." A smirk lit his face as Trunks gushed adorably while baby Goten frowned.

"Gaw, Vegeta! Just take them outside, I need to clean this up!" The older Saiyan shrugged, walking out the door again but not before the teenager said in a low voice, "If you hurt EITHER of them seriously, I won't hold back when beating you into a pulp!" The youngest Son stared in awe at his brother as Trunks smiled slightly.

"Psh, whatever, brat...." was all he got in response before the three were outside. Sighing as he went back to his mindless task, Gohan started cleaning up the kitchen, other thoughts floating into his mind... Like why did he react to his dad's hand job so...well, like he did...? Oh god, just the memory of Goku's little homemade porn had the teenager gritting his teeth.

"Gaw, Gohan! Stop thinking, just finish-oh, wow, I'm done..." the demi looked around at the cleanliness of the room, admiring his handiwork before he peered out the kitchen window.

Vegeta was showing the two boys how to punch properly, fists clenched by their sides as they watched the older man strike forward. Trunks followed immediately afterwards, his fist shaking slightly, but Goten half-heartedly let his fist launch in front of him, causing the Prince to scold him. Laughing lightly at the scene, Gohan leaned against the counter, content to just let the happiness of the moment wash over him. But then his father's pleading face entered his thoughts as the words pressed into his mind: "_I just can't do it, leaving you here by yourself...._"

Guilt overrode his senses for a moment as he knew he had put off seeing his parents for awhile, but it hurt... Goten wasn't a burden so much as living had become a great burden to the demi. He felt as if his emotions over his parents' deaths would overcome him at any given moment and that he would fall into despair, so the 14 year old just suppressed it like he normally did. Maybe seeing his parents would help him figure out himself. Gohan was just so confused...!

"Stretch out those legs, Trunks!" was the yell he heard from outside, confirming that he had plenty of time to himself. The kids wouldn't want food for another few hours, and even then, Gohan could whip up some large quantities of food for the four of them.

Making a split decision, Gohan peeked out of the house and got Vegeta's attention, just a gesture to the heavens and the full-blooded Saiyan nodded once before turning back to the kids. Smiling slightly as he shook his head at Vegeta's antics, Gohan pressed his fingers to his forehead and concentrated on his father's ki. Flickering out of existence, the teenager fell with an "Ooof" on to something hard.

"Gakh!" was the response he got from his hard landing spot, and immediately Gohan flew off the person, squeaking out "Sorry!!" as he did.

"Well, I see your son finally decided to come see you, Goku," Was King Kai's response to his presence, making the man he landed on jump to his feet. Before the teenager could even say "hi" timidly, Goku was crushing him in his hold, rocking him back and forth. King Kai snickered behind them before he, Bubbles, and Gregory left the two alone.

"Gohan, Gohan, Gohan!" Was all the older male said as the teen reluctantly smiled, tears coming to his eyes as he felt the same salty wetness against his shoulder. His father...was crying...?

The two pulled away from each other and the truth of Gohan's thought was written all over Goku's wet face. The man tried to smile but it failed half way through and he jerked as if trying to stop anymore tears from appearing.

"Daddy..." Gohan mumbled, his hand going up and gently wiping away the droplets with tingling fingers. Goku's larger hand slowly grasped his own and his father nuzzled his hand lightly before kissing his palm softly.

"Son..." the father said in response to his son's call. And Gohan promptly blushed a hundred watts of power as Goku finally gave him a Son grin.

"Oh, Gohan, are you sick...?" the father in Goku immediately grew worried before the boy shook his head rapidly, only noticing how he was seated on his dad a little bit too late.

"Ah-er-that is-I just-egh..." was the stuttering that came from Gohan as he twisted on his father's lap, eyes wide. Goku blinked predictably before laughing lightly.

"Well, I'm sorry to say, but your mom... she couldn't keep her body..." Gohan stop struggling to stare at his forlorn father for a moment before nodding slightly. At least he was there when she died...

"It's ok, dad... She talked to me before she died..." Gohan didn't want to cry anymore and instead buried his face in Goku's chest, vaguely noting that he was wearing his signature orange and blue gi. Arms immediately re-took their positions around his small, yet muscular form.

"Ah... Now what she said to me is making some sense, if she talked to you too..." Gohan could feel his dad's breath on the top of his head and the way his dad's laugh shook his chest. _Yes_, Gohan thought happily, _I missed my daddy, his embrace, and his happiness, but now I'm feeling all of those things and more... I'm happiest here with him_.

"Ah....Daddy..." Gohan breathed out slowly, making Goku look down at him with wide eyes before he smiled lightly. They stayed that way for awhile, just basking in each other's presence before Gohan finally pulled back.

"I missed you..." the same words they said last time, but with a smile this time. Goku mumbled something back before he smiled brightly and hoisted both of them up off the grass. Swinging his eldest son on top of his shoulders, the original savior of the Earth darted happily into King Kai's home and shouted, "FOOD!" in which the old Kai sighed in misfortune before he turned from making food and set the massive plates full of food on the table. Gohan quickly slipped down his father's shoulders and plopped to the ground.

"Mmmm, you've outdone yourself this time, King Kai!" Goku enthused as he promptly started eating the food in front of him. Gohan sat and idly ate some of the food while watching his dad with a tiny smile on his face.

_-I love him...-_ Gohan thought suddenly, blushing deeply as he also suddenly remembered what he had happened to be doing just the night before. King Kai eyed the boy as he took his plates to the sink for Bubbles to do later. Yeah, sometimes that monkey could do useful things.

"Well, I'd say Vegeta has tired down the kids now, Gohan... you should probably get back soon... Don't want to worry your brother..." King Kai knew he sounded rude, but he also didn't want the teen being distracted by his deceased dad at that moment.

"Awwww, you have to go so soon, Gohan?!" Goku whined after swallowing a massive amount of macaroni.

"I'm sorry, daddy, but I've been taking care of Trunks for Bulma and need to get back so I can earn the money truthfully..." the teen bowed his head before straightening, almost falling back against his chair when his father's serious stare met his.

"Goku... I will ask King Yenma if you can visit your sons for a day. If you behave...." The blue kai shrugged as his pupil's eyes brightened considerably.

"Really, King Kai? That's great! Then I can meet my other son!" Goku hopped around happily, making the other two occupants of the house laugh at his actions. Gohan's smile didn't reach his eyes as he clutched at his heart for a moment of weakness. How would Goku react to Goten...? Would he love him unconditionally or-?

"Well... I have to go. I don't want to get a beating from Vegeta anytime soon," the new protector of Earth murmured, gaining his father's attention.

"Well, ok... here, I'll walk you out and help you find home..." and the two left King Kai in the mess of a house, his smile wide. The kai knew that Gohan was troubled, but in time, his pain would be healed. But in time... it could also increase...

The slight wind fluttered Gohan's black locks as he pushed them out of his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He knew it was going to hurt to leave his father again, but Goten was waiting for him at home...even Trunks was probably waiting for him!

"I gotta go, dad..." Gohan said with a sad nod of his head, feeling those eyes on him before Goku turned away from him, grinning widely.

"I know, Gohan. Home is that way...and I'm... proud of you..." the teenager tried not to let the tears gather in his eyes, but it was futile as he stared up at his father. "You're a lot stronger than you seem, Gohan. And... You'll be in my heart always...and I will always be there for you..." Goku turned toward him one last time before Gohan felt his fingers move up to his forehead, a single tear falling from his dark eyes.

"I love you, daddy..." and he was gone.

---X

When he got back it was to the two children running away from a raging Vegeta, whose aura was flared violently around him. Trunks and Goten both were laughing though, so it seemed the "chase" wasn't as scary as Gohan first perceived it as.

When Goten noticed his brother, though, the baby stumbled to him and yelled out happily, "Go-on!" Trunks and Vegeta stopped mid-step and turned to him too. Gohan happily caught his little brother in his open arms and smiled as the boy laughed into his shoulder.

"Come on, Trunks. Let's get you and Goten cleaned up for lunch...Do you want to stay and eat, Vegeta...?" the oldest of them shrugged, nodding when his son's eyes looked up at him.

"Ok, do you mind helping them take a bath...? Then I could make the food faster-" the Prince growled before snatching his son then Kakarot's second brat and marching them to the bathroom, both boys complaining all the way.

Gohan couldn't help but grin, looking up to the sky with large black orbs. "I finally see that I can find happiness here...even if it's without you...".

The teenager spun around once, eyes closing in bliss before he fell to the ground, letting all his responsibilities' weight fall off of his shoulders.

"Things are falling into place...but do you believe it will stay that way...?" they watched on in silence before the other replied.

"We can't expect them to... Just be ready to heal some heartache, my friend..." And the former nodded, eyes still forward.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews! There's a lot going to be happening in the next chapter to make up for the emotions and non-movement in this chapter, my readers and reviewers, so once I get Embracing Myself Ch 4 done, this will be updated too. So, review please! It makes me go faster :D 


	4. When We Don't Breathe

"You're built to destroy...You can NEVER belong..."-Lilo and Stitch, Jumba

Gohan=15 Goten=4 Trunks=5

Not My Burden

Chapter 4

When We Don't Breathe

_**(Warning: Extreme Angst and self-mutilation up in this chapter. Rape and explicit yaoi in this chapter too, you've been WARNED! UNCENSORED)**_

The dream had begun normal: ChiChi had been yelling at a younger Gohan (about 8, he expected) to go study while he whined about wanting to go train with daddy. Of course, the woman screamed her orders to the sky, but the boy was adamant about it.

"_Mom, I want to train with daddy!" _

_ "Not while I'm around! You can do that on weekends or something, but today-"_

_ "No, mom, this is really important! We can't put off training anymore! I need to help daddy!" And he took off, an angry glare coming to his face. Then the dream morphed into after the Cell Games... Gohan was sitting alone in front of a tombstone marked with his father's name, tears cascading down his reddened cheeks._

_ "Daddy, I didn't mean to kill you, I didn't mean it! I want you here, I need you here and all I can do is hope that you can forgive your son for killing you..." Rain began to fall as the boy's head tilted downward, his tears now mixing with the tears of the heavens. _

_ As Gohan's eyes began to blur, the ground below him began to shake, causing the boy to tumble as he watched the world around him crack and break; he was left in a place that looked like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, but all was black and hidden._

_ "You killed me, Gohan!" came his dad's voice as he looked up, tears stunned into place on his face. _

_ "B-but, daddy-" and he was hit across the face, a backhand out of nowhere as he fell to the ground, blood staining his hands._

_ " I trusted you and...You killed me! You disgusting freak of nature! I hope you go to Hell for all your sins!" Goku's voice wavered in and out of focus as Gohan stared blankly at the blood on his hands with something akin to horror flickering to life on his face._

_ That's when the darkness lifted and suddenly bodies of his friends were surrounding him, their corpses bleeding as they lay lifeless. Gohan's hand shook as he realized the blood on his hands came from Vegeta in front of him, the prince's usually stubborn stare gone in those cold dead eyes. _

_ "G-gohan..." Came Piccolo's voice as the Namekian reached for Gohan, blood covering his severed body. _

_ "Mr-Mr. Piccolo!" the boy choked out as he ran to his mentor, tears spilling from his eyes as he knelt down next to Piccolo._

_ "W-why...? Why did you kill...us...?" the eyes were losing focus even as Gohan let out a terrified yelp, his black orbs pouring tears now as he saw his mentor die in front of him. Then a power level appeared in front of him as he cried, his wails piercing the air._

_ "Good job, my pet..." That voice-!_

_ Gohan slowly looked up, meeting magenta eyes which slitted into amusement as the perfect Cell smirked at him._

_ "You'll never be able to redeem yourself now!" and the evil creature laughed, long and loud as Gohan stared unseeingly at his hands, the blood starting to stain them. _

_ The scene changed, whirling into darkness as Gohan looked up to see his little brother glaring hatefully at him._

_ "You killed my dawddy! You killed my mommy! I HATE YOU!" and the child ran away from him as the teen looked down at the corpse of his mother at his feet and a knife convincingly in his hands. Dropping the knife with horror starting to become full-blown panic and terror, Gohan fell to his knees, tears not enough to express his sorrow and his screams not enough to paint his guilt and pain. The last thing he saw was ChiChi's mouth moving slightly, the words clear:_

_ "Why did you kill me...?"_

-X

"AAAAAAAAAH!" and Gohan sat up in his bed, sweat covering his whole body as he felt his ki flaring abnormally around him. In the corner, Vegeta and Piccolo were standing, merely observing him. It was at that point that the teen noticed they were being forcibly pushed back by his power and he dropped it, a sob coming to his lips. Piccolo was quickly striding across the room and had a hand on the demi-saiyan's shoulder before Gohan could stop his tears.

_:Are you okay, Gohan...?:_ Piccolo asked through their mental link, the Prince of Saiyans standing in front of the door now as small patters of feet came to the door. Gohan paused in his crying to look worriedly at the older Saiyan, who lifted his eyebrows at him.

"Gohan? Are you okay, brother?" Goten's voice asked through the door before Trunks' voice broke his friend's little worried rant.

"Of course he's not alright! Didn't you hear him scream?" Vegeta pressed his back against the door right before his son tried to open the door.

"Go away, brats... Gohan's fine now... He'll be down in a minute..." at that, both boys backed away from the door before their noise left, taking them to the kitchen.

_:I'll be alright, Mr. Piccolo...: _the teen finally answered as he wiped his forehead off with one hand, the other clutching at his thigh. The Namek merely grunted as he stepped away slightly to give the boy room.

"Don't go scaring the brats again, baka, or else you'll be in for more than whimpering kids..." Vegeta popped his knuckles twice to emphasize his point before walking over to the teen and leaning down to his level. Piccolo glared at the Saiyan, warning the man.

"Your power level sky rocketed and- You. WERE. _**ASLEEP**_! Now, what the hell would cause that, hmm, baka?" Gohan reeled back slightly at the anger and-...concern...?-laced in Vegeta's voice before he blinked and tried not to bury his face into the blankets in his lap.

"A-a nightmare...that's all..." It was the truth, but it was a nightmare that the teen wouldn't be getting over any time soon.

_:You're not saying it all, Gohan... If it was "just" a nightmare, you could get over it, but this one is clinging to your mind...:_ And Gohan tried not to clamp down on his thoughts at that but shook his head.

"Everyone was dead...bu-but that wasn't why it was so-so-" the oldest living Son gulped down tears as they came up, his heart aching fitfully in his chest, "-so disgusting and painful... I killed everyone...and Cell was there, taunting me the whole time..." Gohan could only bury his head in his hands as the tears began again.

Piccolo's hand was immediately reassuringly on his shoulder again before Vegeta humphed, arms crossing over his chest.

"You'll be alright, brat... But I think it's time you went to see your baka of a father..." the words hit Gohan harder than he thought possible, but maybe it was because it was Vegeta telling him... ...that he needed his father.

Gohan began to shake his head from side to side in a negative manner, both of the stoic men giving him a pointed look. "I-I can't rely on him...I have to get through this myself...or else it'll just get worse..." Piccolo suddenly understood that his pupil was still feeling guilty over his father's death and the destruction he had caused the Earth.

Sighing the green man walked out of the room, leaving the Saiyans to go find the rambunctious kids, both probably destroying something in their way of having fun.

Vegeta stared until Gohan felt small, vulnerable and unimaginably scared of something... maybe the teen was scared of what the prince would say to him. ...that he wasn't strong enough to deal with his fears on his own... or that he needed his father... in more ways than one.

Then the older male sighed, a long, suffering one as he came closer and dropped a hand on top of Gohan's black mop of a head. Their eyes clashed-one pair trying to ease the tears away while the other set tried to show some sort of emotion other than pride and indifference.

"There are times when you need to act your own age... and some times where you need someone to lean on...This, Gohan, is one of those times...Don't tell me you haven't been depressed since your stupid father left, I can see it in your eyes..." Gohan squeezed his eyes closed, whimpering when Vegeta growled deep in his throat.

Then suddenly his wrist was being grasped and Gohan struggled against Vegeta's tight grip, calling out wordlessly in fear before his arms were revealed and the older male hissed a string of curses.

"So, the depression ran even deeper than I thought...Well, that's going to stop, NOW." And Vegeta was pressing the boy down into the bed, their black eyes clashing as Gohan started to shake.

"You're going to go downstairs, tell those mini-brats that you're fine and then go to your father. Kakarot...needs you as much as you need him!" and then the prince was gone, the door slamming shut after him.

Trembling as he tried to steady himself from the onslaught of emotions, Gohan took a deep breath and let it out slowly before getting off his bed and walking out of his room. The cuts on his arms were old and new: he had started over a year ago, a small knife that made unnoticeable scars across his inner arms. It was bliss, being able to control his pain and bleeding, and all that blood leaving his body.

Gohan only wanted to bleed out all the sin he had done, all the wrong... But it began to become more: he loved the sick feeling he got when the blood rushed over his skin, the way the color contrasted brightly against his pale skin. But the need to hurt himself became greater than he wanted it to be. The demi-Saiyan couldn't stop if he wanted to, and now...well, he wanted to fix it, because the teen had to be strong for Goten...even for Trunks, too.

_Maybe..._Gohan thought, eyes wide as he paused at the top of the stairs._ Maybe I need to be strong for Mr. Piccolo, Bulma, Krillin, Dende, and … maybe even... Vegeta? I need to be strong for them too. I've been so selfish... Only thinking of myself... Stop being selfish, Gohan!_

Shaking his head, the teen straightened, a determined glint in his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen where Trunks and Goten were eating piles of snack foods, being watched by one grumpy Saiyan and one disgusted Namekian. Grinning widely at the two chibis, Gohan swept down and gathered both in his arms, nuzzling them both as they laughed happily.

"Gohan! Are you all better, big brother?" Goten asked, eyes bright by that smile on his older brother's face. Trunks smiled against his play-brother's neck, happily snuggling closer.

"Yes, yes... I'm all better now that you two are here in my arms!" the teen giggled along with his two charges before promptly kissing their cheeks. Putting them back down after a returning kiss from both, Gohan smiled at the other two, both who looked away with varying degrees of indifference.

"Well, before we do anything else, Vegeta and Mr. Piccolo here are going to take you to the amusement park! I have to go meet up with daddy, ok?" He bent down to their level and rubbed their heads gently as both children nodded excitedly.

"Ooogh, I'll get you back for that, BRAT!" Vegeta threatened as Trunks and Goten began to run around the two "grown-ups" in circles, asking when they were leaving. Piccolo only sighed before walking out the door followed by two energetic kids bouncing behind him. The Saiyan Prince walked after them reluctantly but not before sending the teen savior a look.

Gohan let out a deep breath, letting one hand hand tangle in with his black locks before suddenly being tackled around the waist. Goten's black, watery eyes stared up at him as the child held on to him for dear life.

"Promise me you won't cry over daddy anymore, Gohan...?" And Gohan's mouth dropped open in utter bewilderment as Goten tugged at his arm, trying to make sure his brother was listening to him.

"Please, don't hurt anymore, Gohan. I hate when you cry...I hate when you bleed..." At that, little hands snuck under the long sleeves the older male was wearing and traced the scars there.

"Go-goten!" was all the older demi could mutter out as tears began to fall down those chubby cheeks. Gohan hugged his brother closer, feeling all of his will power strengthen his thoughts against cutting himself ever again. He would lose this boy, this little child who meant so, oh so much to him...

"I'm so sorry, Goten... I've been so selfish..." And the brothers cried together, both clutching on to the other as a lifeline. But a feeling was growing inside of Goten...a feeling that complicated his other feelings, mixing them up and confusing him in the future.

But for now, neither knew of this feeling manifesting in the youngest Son. And with smiles tainted with tears, Goten walked back outside to the waiting three while Gohan went back to his room to change and clean up.

The four flew away, Gohan's black eyes following them until he couldn't see the two boys talking to each other in the sky anymore. The teen now knew his brother had been more concerned about him than he really thought possible, but... it only meant that Gohan hadn't been paying attention to his little brother as much as he could, and he vowed to do more with the boy.

Thoughts scrambled, Gohan thought of his father, imagining King Kai's planet (after being restored with the dragon balls) but as he brought two fingers to his forehead, the demi-saiyan's mind suddenly drifted to the Cell Games...

...which was why he was suddenly in HFIL pinned to the ground by Frieza and Coola while Cell grinned above with a smug look on his face. Ki rings were slowly eating away and suppressing his ki as he struggled before the android spoke, magenta eyes glinting.

"Why, Gohan, how nice of you to join us..."

-X

Goku sighed heavily as he stared out at the nothingness surrounding King Kai's planet. There was a tournament going on in the Other World, but the Saiyan had declined to attend, instead training on his own and waiting for his eldest son to show up. The father was kind of worried of Gohan and his happiness.

"Did I … destroy his happiness when I made him fight Cell...? What have I done...?" Goku whispered to himself, the monkey and the cricket both watching him curiously.

-_DADDY! HELP ME, DADDY!_- Gohan's panicked voice penetrated his thoughts and parental instincts took over as he stood from his slump.

"GOHAN! Daddy's coming, my baby!" And with two fingers to his forehead, Goku found his son's fluctuating ki and disappeared.

_**-X WARNING: RAPE AHEAD X-Uncensored Version Starts Here**_

_***Censored Version will eventually take this chapter's place**_

"DADDY! Pl-please! DADDYYYYY!" tears pouring down his face in tiny ribbons, three bouts of laughter mixed as the boy writhed on the ground, dirt suffocating him as it billowed around him.

"Ooh, don't cry, monkey! We're just going to have some fun with you!" Frieza sneered from above, laughing as Cell pulled a long, large metal pipe out from behind him, which Coola took with barely suppressed glee. Purple gi pants now shoved down his thighs, Gohan could only take in a deep breath as the tip of the metal pipe was pressed harshly against his hole.

"NO! NO NO, PLEASE PLEASE NO!" the demi-Saiyan begged, trying to force his legs closed, but Coola was there, gripping them wider as Cell took the pipe and began to press it against him again.

"Oh, no, my dear Gohan...You need to pay..." Then two things happened: Cell breached Gohan with the large pipe, blood spilling from his entrance and Goku appeared in his golden glory, an angry glare on his face directed at Cell.

"LET GO OF MY SON!" the full-Saiyan roared, hair spiking further and lightening dashing from the sky. Gohan cried harder as the pipe was pushed in more with a bruising force as Coola stood from his position at Gohan's legs and rushed the enraged father.

"St-stop! No-not in front of d-daddy!" the teen cried out as Cell merely thrust the substituted dildo in more, twisting it with a sneer as Gohan suddenly felt pleasure arch his body off the ground. Meanwhile Goku was pounding the older changeling into the ground with over-excessive force, an unemotional mask on his face.

"Oh, you don't want your daddy to find out how much you like it...how much you like him watching you?" Cell laughed at the mortification that spread like wild fire across Gohan's face as Frieza got up to help his brother.

"Oh, so you like it when your own father watches his son get fucked by a toy...? What a kinky little bastard you are!" Now tears of guilt and disgust fell from his black eyes as he twisted against the metal rod in him, moaning as Cell held the pipe against his prostate.

"DADDY!" Gohan screamed as two craters were made a few hundred miles away from the two changelings, Goku's gold aura suddenly next to them.

"Oh, Goku! What a surprise... Why don't you watch me play with your son? He's grown so much since the last time we met..." With that, Cell threw ki rings around Goku's wrist and ankles, effectively stopping the Super Saiyan transformations. Goku dropped to the ground, groaning as he felt the exertion on his limbs.

"D-don't... Please not Gohan..." the older Saiyan mumbled. Cell grinned widely, thrusting steadily into the boy, who could only shiver as his cock hardened into fullness.

"Well, if you put it that way-why don't you take this pipe's place, eh, Goku? Why don't you pleasure both yourself and your son while I merrily watch in the background?" And the android laughed as Coola and Frieza dropped next to him, smirks on their faces.

"Pl-please, daddy, make it stop!" Gohan begged, choking as Cell suddenly wrapped a hand around his neck, making Goku growl as he tried to jump at Cell, but only made himself slip across the ground.

"If you don't answer soon, then Gohan will be staying here forever, and I do quite like his ass..." Goku nodded in defeat before the brothers took his arms and drug him over to the writhing boy and the perfect Cell.

"Now, rules: 1) Don't try to attack us, or Gohan will be the one suffering the consequences 2) You both have to come or neither of you will be going anywhere until you do and 3) Don't try to follow us after we let you go, or we'll be doing this again soon... Got it?" Gohan only nodded, too lost in the pleasure while his father glared at the evil creatures before nodding also. The android dropped the boy to the ground, where he landed on his back, aggravating the pipe still firmly in him.

"Now get on with it..." Cell murmured, grinning widely as Goku shuffled forward slightly, gritting his teeth before yanking the pipe out of his son's ass.

"AHHHHH!" Gohan screamed out, arching his back as blood fell down his thighs. Goku felt the first of tears creep down his cheeks before Cell shoved him forward again, making him land on his hands and knees over Gohan.

"Oh, Kami, gomenasai, Gohan...Gomenasai!" the full-Saiyan cried out softly before reaching into his orange gi pants and stroking himself to fullness. Gohan watched with wide eyes, mouth open before he caught sight of Cell in the background. Suddenly pissed at having what he wanted in a roundabout and fucked up way, the teen sat up and pressed his father to the ground, his ki rings on his wrist disappearing with a slight flicker of light.

"G-gohan...? What are you-?" but then Gohan gave his father a smile that made Goku forget to breathe as Frieza hissed out a laugh, Coola sharing a look with Cell, who folded his green arms across his chest with a smug smile.

"I'm going to give them a show..." is what he said aloud, but in his mind the teen projected to his father, _We need to distract them enough to get these ki rings off... _At the narrowed look he got in return, Gohan promptly grabbed his father's very large cock, gaining a low moan in return. Guiding the 13'', hard cock to his bleeding hole, both moaned as it squelched into place, moving slowly in as Gohan swayed down on to the dick. Once fully seated, the teen came off it before riding down on his dad's cock, arching his back into a half circle and grabbing his father's ankles. Forcing what little ki he had to cancel the ki rings, Gohan couldn't help but moan as his father bucked up into him. It was going to be hard for him not to enjoy the moment to the fullest...

Cell suddenly laughed, gesturing to the changelings as the android appeared behind Gohan and grabbed his wrists, forcing him up and down atop his father as Frieza forced Goku to stay in place, Coola pinning the full Saiyan's legs to the ground. Bobbing up and down forcefully on top of his father, Gohan panted loudly, screeching each time he was filled to the brim with that huge cock and whimpering in loss as he was pulled up. He wasn't going to be able not to come in time to take off the rest of the ki rings.

"So, I was right... You're in love with your own father-!" Cell's whispered words in his ears made the teen shiver in disgust even as he moaned in pleasure. "How disgusting can you get, faggot?" Tears sprang to Gohan's eyes as he resolutely closed them tightly shut, making his father watch him worriedly.

"Do you think about doing this with him all the time? If it weren't for us, you'd never be able to be with him like this... Aren't you just gratefully indebted to me now...?" Cell's hands clenched around Gohan's wrists, squeezing hard enough that the teen winced. The android grinned widely, catching the glare from the father who was starting to growl deep in his throat.

Laughter circled the two Sons as they were forced on to each other before Gohan got one hand free and began to jerk himself off quickly. Then his dad's hands came around and gently encircled his waist. And suddenly Goku pressed particularly hard into Gohan while the boy caught his father's wrists and focused, but only barely managed to get his father's ki rings off as he came hard between them. Arching forward and screaming out the rest of his release, Gohan clenched around his father's pulsating cock as the man looked right at Cell and gathered ki in his mouth before his own orgasm made him scream a large ki blast at the android.

_**~End Explicit Stuff!~**_

"Fucking Saiyans..." was all both Saiyans heard before they couldn't feel the three evil tyrants anymore. Slouching against each other, Goku smiled ruefully up at his son on his lap and received a tired smile in return.

"Oh, Gohan... I'm so sorry this had to happen..." Goku bemoaned quietly, covering his face with his hands as he tried to hide from his son. Cocking his head to one side as his mind swiftly pushed any thoughts of regret and mental anguish to the side, Gohan promptly hugged his daddy, smiling gently at the man when he looked at him in confusion.

"I'm just glad I was with you, daddy... I'm not traumatized by this...Another part of my overly-complicated life..." Gohan grinned widely to back his statement and Goku grinned just as largely back. They carefully got up, Gohan groaning slightly as he felt all his muscles yell at him in pain.

"Well, I think we can put off training today..." Goku said with a grimace before he gently touched Gohan's shoulder and transported them to King Kai's planet.

-X

Goten pouted slightly as Trunks stuck his tongue out at him. "Shuddup, Trunks! That's not true, and you know it!"

"Oh yes it is!" the purple-haired boy exclaimed, jumping away into the sky when Goten tried to jump after him. Piccolo watched the two with a grim expression before the two screeched loudly in surprise. Gohan had appeared in between them, bursting into laughter as the two boys clutched each other in fear.

"Brother!" Goten growled but it was off set by the large smile on his face. Trunks suddenly glomped the hysterical teen in a glomping-lunge while the youngest of them grabbed his leg and wouldn't let go.

"Oh, guys, you are so cute together~!" Gohan managed to swoon out under the crushing grip of two children. Both boys stuck their tongues out at him in reply before promptly snuggling back into him. Piccolo dropped down from his place in the tree to pat his young pupil on the head before Gohan grabbed him around the waist, and all four of them went down.

"Will you guys quit the racket? I'm trying to eat in here!" Vegeta suddenly appeared from the Son house, a chicken leg in one hand and a loaf of bread sticking out the side of his mouth.

"Dadddd! You're eating without us!" Trunks moaned as he suddenly detached himself from Gohan and stole some bread from his father. Gohan stood up finally, making the Namekian sigh in relief as Goten shimmied up his brother to rest on the teen's shoulders.

"Hey, that was ours!" Goten pouted, clutching his brother's head and taking the teen's long hair into two fists and jerking on them like reins.

"You Saiyans are disgusting..." Piccolo said with a disgusted shiver, looking away as Vegeta shoved the chicken leg in his mouth.

"Well, as least we aren't asexual!"

"I'M NOT ASEXUAL!"

Giggling as he walked past the arguing adults, Gohan grinned widely even as his body twitched in tiredness. Yes, normal life was interesting and Gohan just had to learn to breathe and maybe... he could make it through...

Looking up at the sky one last time, Gohan grinned as his little brother giggled atop his shoulders, Vegeta and Piccolo having a staring contest as Trunks gobbled down his father's food. Yes, he just had to breathe and everything would be fine.


	5. When a Disaster Makes a Visit

Gohan=16 Goten=5 Trunks=6

**_Not My Burden_**

**_Chapter 5_**

**_When a Disaster Makes a Visit_**

"Gohan! I'm hungry!" Goten called out from outside, making the teen cleaning the dishes groan. What was it with Saiyans and eating a lot? It was costing them though: the Briefs had gone on vacation and on top of that, Trunks had been enrolled in school. Gohan had refused to take Bulma's money when she said that it was an advanced payment and instead got another job as a pizza delivery boy. Because he was 16, he got his permit, then license to drive the pizza delivery car, though he usually IT-ed or flew to the person's house, getting good tips because he was "super fast".

But, now, Gohan was considering enrolling Goten into school too, since the boy had already learned to read, write, some math and science that the older brother could teach him in between jobs. But, with all the work he was doing, the teen was getting tired quicker and couldn't keep up his promise to play with Goten. It hurt to see his little brother's disappointed face, but he had to support them somehow. The teen almost had to get a third job as a bouncer, but decided against it.

Lately, though, Gohan was feeling more and more... unemotional... as the days went by. And he had this bad feeling in the pit of his stomach like something was going to happen and he wasn't going to like it at all. The urge to get a knife was there, but he had promised himself and Goten that he wouldn't do it anymore... Today at work, he had to get a routine medical check-up, which he wasn't looking forward to, since all the questions about his blood would pop up and he'd have to lie.

But for now...

"Okay, Goten! Breakfast will be ready in a bit!" Whipping up some Saiyan pancakes took a lot of practice-since the pancakes were full of rice and as thick as his forearm-, but Gohan managed to make 8 pancakes before Goten was running in the door, mud splattered across one cheek and fingers covered with the sticky brown substance.

"FOOD!" was the one word the boy said before he was running across the room, his blue and pink Chinese-style gi ripped in several places. Gohan quickly caught the boy in his arms and tickled his stomach, both laughing as the teen ran them upstairs and into the bathroom.

"Clean up, Goten, then we can eat...Mr. Piccolo is going to train you today while I work!" there was a squeal as his answer before the little brother escaped the big brother and was washing up quickly. Gohan chuckled lightly, and albeit a bit tiredly as he cleaned his own hands and followed after his energetic brother's footsteps.

"Saiyan pancakes! YES!" Goten was already throwing syrup on the massive plate of pancakes when the teen got to the kitchen before he was shoving them in his mouth and munching loudly. Gohan shook his head before settling in for some breakfast himself. Now was the time to broach the subject of school...

"Goten, do ever feel like you want to learn more...?" the boy looked up, a piece of pancake sticking out of his mouth as he thoughtfully ate it.

"Yeah, I'd love to learn more! Like about fighting techniques, and what happened on Namek and dad himself! I want to hear your stories, like about the Androids and meeting this "Mirai" Trunks guy and-" Gohan put up a hand, making the excited five year old pause.

"I-uh, that's not what I meant... I meant, did you want to go to school with Trunks?" Goten's black eyes went wide, his mouth hanging open as his older brother watched him with worry written across his face.

"Oh, that-that would be cool too..." but he couldn't hide the disappointment he felt at not having the chance to learn more about his family. The teen sighed, wondering how he could find the time when another thought process started.

"Um, Goten, I'll make you a deal... if you go to school with Trunks, you'll get to learn all about fighting, Namek, and the androids all from our dad himself on the weekends and after homework..." There was silence for all of a ten-second time period before the plates across the table were shattering on the ground and Gohan found himself with an arm-full of Goten. The boy was crushing his ribs and squeezing the breath out of him, but the older brother couldn't help but let the Son Grin conquer his features.

"I guess it's a deal then, huh?" the five-year-old only nodded with his own Son Grin in place. "I'm just going to go talk to dad first and make sure it's okay with him, then you can see him tomorrow, sound good?" the boy nodded, bouncing in Gohan's lap and making the teen laugh.

"Okay, go meet up with Mr. Piccolo and have some fun...I'll see you later..." Kissing the boy's forehead, Goten smiled widely before he dashed out the door, a yell of "YES!" sounding outside as he flew off.

Gohan sighed, taking off his green and pink apron-an old apron his mother had always made him wear even though it hadn't fit him at all- and picking up the kitchen. Quickly changing from his pajamas to his plain, black slacks and a tight, white, muscle T-shirt, Gohan focused on his father's ki and instant transmitted to the man.

-X

Goten was happy. Not because he got to train or anything, but because he was going to meet his father for the first time tomorrow! Well... this Goku person was supposed to be like him-happy, carefree and loves fighting. He even looked like Goten, apparently! Gohan was always talking about him... His older brother really loved their father...

"But... Gohan cried over that man..." Goten stopped flying, pausing in midair to contemplate this thought. "And-and he hurt himself with that knife, crying 'daddy' over and over again...does-does that mean this Goku is a bad man? Can-can I trust him? Maybe... I'll ask Mr. Piccolo...Trunks...and Gohan?" Now slightly confused about how he was supposed to feel about his own father, Goten started flying again, this time with a serious quest in mind.

-X

Gohan opened his eyes and immediately saw orange before he was being engulfed by it. He fell, momentarily blinded by the brightness of the orange, to the ground, his father's weight pressed over him.

"Ah, Gohan! It's been awhile! Wow, you seem stronger!" Goku's eyes sparkled with excitement and contentment as he ran an appraising eye over his older son's form. The teen was almost as tall as Goku, coming to his neck, if you didn't count his spiky locks. Though muscled, it seemed Gohan had a slender build, which might have been due to his rigorous schedule, and not due to his training. The full Saiyan frowned as he noticed his son's ribs were showing slightly, but shook his head when he found black eyes peering back at him through long ebony hair, the half-Saiyan having sat up.

"Yeah, it's been awhile, huh, dad...? Ah, about a month or so, right? Man, dad, I'm sorry..." Gohan was rubbing the back of his head sheepishly, making his father laugh in surprise.

"I'm just happy you visit...! I mean, you're so young and to be burdened with so much-ah, I'm sorry..." the look in Gohan's eyes made Goku want to look away, but instead he stared straight into them and admitted defeat.

"It's my fault, isn't it? I-I thought I was doing good by keeping away, but you...you and Goten aren't doing as good as you hoped, right?" The teen was blinking back tears before he shook his head and put his hands on his father's shoulders.

"Dad...It's no one's fault, just what happened. Even if we wanted to go back, what's done is done and we move forward... But I didn't come to get into that..." Gohan smiled widely, reassuring the father as he shifted more comfortably on the ground.

"Um, due to my work schedule, I don't have as much time to … play with Goten, and he-he wants ..." Goku was already frowning, wondering what this had to do with him when Gohan took in a deep, shaky breath and spoke softly: "He wants to know of Namek, of fighting techniques, of the androids, of our adventures... and of you, dad... he wants to know you..." Their eyes clashed and Goku had a moment of deja vu before the sentence ran through his mind.

"He...wants to know me?" was all Goku could say in response, tears coming to his eyes as Gohan nodded.

"Yes, and he wants to know it all … from you... if you are willing to tell him of all of it..." the teen smiled widely as the full Saiyan blinked and then grabbed his first born. Crushing him into a hug, they rocked back and forth, tears coming from both their eyes.

"I-I-this is the best day of my life! And it's all because of you, Gohan!" And then Goku leaned forward and promptly kissed his son full on the lips. The teen's mouth dropped open automatically, letting their tongues touch tentatively before Gohan pulled back, both slightly confused.

"Wh-what's...what are we-what?" was all the younger Saiyan could blankly say before Goku sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

"Sorry, son... I was just so excited, I did something without thinking...I-" But he was stopped as Gohan leaned up, his eyes hooded as he stared down his father.

"You want to do it again, huh?" The question caught the man off-guard, so did the second kiss they shared as Gohan's hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

King Kai was just about to walk out of his home and announce to the two that he had food ready when he spotted them. He let his mouth close slowly as he turned back around, both of his two companions running to get into the house as he closed the door.

Goku, by this time, let his first born do what he wanted, which seemed to work out well when the teen moaned, wriggling on the father's lap. Then their lips were pressing together again before Gohan opened his mouth and let his father's tongue delve to meet his own. Goku's hands gripped Gohan's ass, kneading them gently as they battled, saliva mixing before they both pulled back for a breath.

"Oh, Kami, dad... I-I have got to go! I have to get to work and-we-this-us..." Gohan stumbled over the words, Goku sighing as he hung his head, not meeting his son's eyes.

"It...was nothing, Gohan... Go live for me, okay? I'll see you this weekend with Goten, " As he was slowly being pushed up and off of his father, the demi-Saiyan could clearly see the pain on his father's face before he covered it with a large smile. The full Saiyan enveloped his older son in a tight hug before whispering a solemn: "Go".

Gohan knew they would have to deal with whatever just went on between them-but now was definitely not the time. Giving his father a small wave and a big smile, the teen disappeared.

-X

Goten was done with training with Mr. Piccolo for the moment, since the Namekian said he needed "a break from the child-ness before it kills me...". Apparently, Piccolo was allergic to him!

So, now, Goten was looking through some old photographs of his brother and father to get a better feel of the man. There were a few of Chichi, but she must have been the one taking the pictures, since her husband and son were in them all.

"Gohan... you were so...happy. With … dad," Goten mumbled, his chest tightening as he frowned at the picture on top: Gohan had his arms thrown about his father's shoulders, who was sitting in the grass before them. Goku had a surprised look on his face as he stared at the camera, Gohan smiling widely as he laughed lightly at his father.

The next picture made Goten's heart stop for some reason: Gohan had his arms around Goku's middle, half asleep as Goku carried him home. The sleepy, yet contented smile on his brother's face made Goten feel powerless. And it was all because of their father.

Shoving the photos away from him angrily, Goten crossed his arms in front of his chest, wondering why he couldn't make Gohan as happy as their father had: Was he too useless? Was he not strong enough? Was he just not old enough? Wasn't he like Goku enough that Gohan would smile that carefree, happy, and /loving/ smile at /him/ too? Was Goten just not good enough for Gohan?

The youngest son never felt this … despair in his short life and could only cope by throwing himself on to his brother's bed with an angry pout. Small hands clenched the pillow closer to the tear-stained face as Goten smothered himself in the pillow. This emotion was hurting him and he didn't even know why!

That was until he spotted the glint of a knife on his brother's desk. Yes, one thing was for sure: he knew what he felt about Goku now.

Rolling off the bed with a slight stumble as he stood, Goten reached for the knife, anger flaring into the pit of his stomach as he spotted a fine line of dried blood along its edge. As he stomped out of the house with his ki rising, the five year old began to organize his thoughts, as his older brother told him how to.

Goku. Goku made his big bro happy until the man had died and left him alone to take care of Goten. Goku made Gohan sad, made him cut himself, and made the teen cry. Yet, the father was the only one who could make Gohan truly happy at the same time? Why did Gohan have to be tormented? Why couldn't... Goten be his happiness?

"!" The sudden burst of power overcame his senses as anger and adrenaline coursed through his veins. Gold flickered to life over his features as he grasped to the Super Saiyan transformation. He opened turquoise eyes to glare at the crushed blade in his small palm, blood spilling all over the ground as he opened his hand.

The shards dropped from his hands as he suddenly felt the pain, gasping as his SSJ form dropped. Shaking his head, Goten looked up.

Piccolo was staring down at him, a raised brow making the boy feel guilty for some reason before he shook it off, smiling widely to his mentor.

"Hello Mr. Piccolo! I hurt myself!" He said with his usual cheerfulness, making the Namek sweat drop as he landed beside the bleeding boy.

"It looks like you destroyed Gohan's knife in your hand, actually..." Piccolo said in a matter-of-fact tone, making Goten look ashamedly at the ground.

"I-I couldn't stand looking at it anymore..." was all the five year old said before he sighed.

"Yeah, that and your burst of power..." the youngest Son knew he was in trouble now if Piccolo pressed for answers. And he did.

"Any reason besides this knife here?" he asked, arms folded in front of his chest as he patiently waited for the boy to crack.

"I-I hate him..." Piccolo's eyes widened before fierce black eyes met his own.

"I hate my father..."

-X

It was inevitable that Gohan had to be late on the only day they were doing examinations on them at work, and had to be in at a particular time to make the exam. He missed his by...

"Five minutes! You're usually here early! Now you'll have to take Greg's place, since the poor bastard is sick..." Gohan's boss, Mr. Harold Sampson, gave him a disappointed stare. The pizza factory, called West's Greatest Pizza (kudos to the original title-sarcasm), was bubbling with business already, even though it was only 10 am. Gohan nodded his head and glanced to the health examiner with narrowed eyes. They always were so fascinated with his physical attributes... this was going to be one hella of a day.

The health inspector sat him down and looked over the information his boss had on him before staring at Gohan with a critical eye. Gohan fidgeted in his seat, glancing out of the small break room to the busy workers rushing by.

"So, Gohan Son... it says here you are only 16?" At the teen's nod, the man continued, shifting his reading glasses a bit. "It says here you were around 170lbs when you first arrived here? A healthy weight for someone of your height and fitness...(1)" The man paused, looking up as he tapped a pen absentmindedly against the papers in front of him.

"It is clear to me that you have lost a deal of weight, and by the gauntness in your face," the health inspector stopped, watching as Gohan ran a shaky hand through his hair. "...your shaky hands and the testimonies of co-workers and regulars here is that you might be depressed, my boy."

The demi-Saiyan could only open and close his mouth in silence as he stared at the man (now that he looked, there was a name tag that read "Carl Hogin" pinned to his shirt).

"Mr. Son, have you gone through some tragedy in the past few years that would cause this?" Carl asked gently, seeing the shock written on the teen's face.

"I-I... both my parents passed when I was 11..." the man covered his mouth in shock, trying not to gasp as Gohan continued, "My mother died during child birth, leaving me with my week year old brother... My father died...trying to protect me..." Tears fell onto Gohan's clenched hands as Mr. Hogin wrote down the information before placing a hand on the boy's clenched ones.

"Gohan, you need to get help... You can get better, you can overcome this... with the help of your family and friends, you will be okay..." Trying to smile at the teen didn't work, so Carl pulled out a business card, writing on the back of it.

"Here's the number of a well-known and very good psychiatrist, Dr. Linah. She is only a few blocks from here. Please give her a call...I'll... write off that you're okay to work," Gohan's head shot up as the man smiled sadly down at him, pressing the business card into the teen's hands. "But only if you go make an appointment..." Nodding to Gohan, Carl left the pizza place, disappearing from view as the demi-Saiyan stared with pursed lips at the numbers and address of Dr. Linah.

-X

Piccolo blinked. Goten had gone off, hand bleeding to wash up, remembering the last time he had bled and Gohan had saw.

The Namekian didn't know if it was best to confront the little Saiyan on his feelings or let Gohan deal with him. After all, Gohan would probably be horrified at the thought that Chibi-Goku didn't like his look-alike. As he stared off into space, he raised his brows as Gohan returned from work early, his eyes upset.

"Ah, Piccolo! I thought you two would be out training, did Goten get hungry or hurt or something?" the half-Saiyan asked worriedly, pushing his own feelings aside for the moment.

The Namekian shook his head, sighing heavily as he leaned against the house. "There's something...Goten needs to tell you, kid..." Piccolo stated as the boy bounced out of the house, struck still as he heard Piccolo and saw Gohan.

"Uh, hi brother!" Goten welcomed as he jumped into Gohan's arms, the teen frowning deeply and staring at his younger brother with narrowed eyes.

"Thanks, Piccolo. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" At the nod of a green head, the man was gone, knowing when to let the two have their privacy. Until he randomly got thrown into the mess, of course.

Gohan set his brother down, patting his head gently before pushing him inside. As he shut the door, Goten shuffled his feet, already feeling he had lost some war as he glanced up to his worried older brother.

"Come on, Goten, let's go sit in the living room," As the boy scampered over to the couch, the teen slowly followed, his power fluctuating as he tried to put out any bad thoughts. Was Goten fighting with Trunks? Or maybe Goten didn't like Gohan being away so long? Or-

"Brother... I-I don't want to go see dad..." The boy admitted after staring at his lost-in-thought brother for a full minute. Startled at the sudden admission, Gohan blinked confusedly before sitting next to his baby brother.

"Okay, we can see him another time or meet somewhere-" he was cut off as the younger half Saiyan plummeted his fist into the coffee table in front of them.

"No! Gohan, you don't understand!" He cried out, tears of frustration running down his cheeks as the teen gasped in surprise, now knowing that it had been more serious than he had originally thought.

"What? What is it, Goten?" Gohan asked carefully, putting a gentle hand on the the boy's shaking shoulder.

"I-I don't want to see him, Gohan... I just don't want to see him!" he sobbed as he stared at his brother, refusing to hurt him with his words, even though he could see the dawn of recognition blossomed into his wide, onyx eyes.

"You-you don't mean th-that!" Gohan stuttered out, his heart beating quickly as he reached out with his other hand to shake the boy, but at the last moment, realized what he had been about to do.

"I do! I-I don't want to see Goku, be-because you were hurt by him-are hurting because of him! And you can't let him go and live be-because you love him so much!" Anger seemed to fuel the boy to speak further as he curled his hands into fists, gritting his teeth as rage made his power soar.

"He keeps on hurting you-making you sad, making you mad, making you distracted! I don't want to meet him-!" Gohan couldn't contain the instant reaction, his hand stinging slightly as he pulled away from the slap he had just given. Gasping at what he just did, the teen felt tears fall down his cheeks as Goten looked up at him, his cheek smarting as he cried.

"See? He's turning you against me! You can't love anyone else because he's the only one you love!" Sobbing as he ached throughout his body, Goten was suddenly screaming, too hurt to keep in his feelings anymore.

"HE TOOK YOUR LOVE FOR ME AWAY-HE TOOK **YOU** AWAY FROM ME! I HATE HIM! **I HATE HIM SO MUCH!**!" and with his feelings poured out, he screamed wordlessly, his newly acquired Super Saiyan powers thrumming around him. The sixteen year old was flabbergasted and as Goten ran out of the door, all he could do was bury his head in his hands and cry. When would everything be alright? When would balance be found and everyone would be happy? When would this burden be lifted from Gohan's shoulders once and for all? None of the answers seemed to come as the hero fell to his knees before the broken coffee table, defeated.

_**And there ends Not My Burden.**_

1) I have no idea if that would be correct XD Someone who knows better please correct me if the weight is off or something XD

After Note: Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, story alerts, etc. You have all given me inspiration to keep writing this.

Oh, and what an ending. Nothing gets resolved! I know, you're all like, WTF. This was just a prologue of sorts, after all. The real story is coming out soon, don't miss it:

**_Not My Father _** By me, Lunamaru! Hope to see you all there!

Much love and luck,

~Lunamaru

The Yaoi Queen of Doom~


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